Bash Sisters Episodes 15
by Patch81
Summary: The Bash Sisters was created one crazy night in an RP and has reappeared in other fanfics, RPs, and post. The Bash Sisters, Damsel and Patch, with some help of thier crazy newsie friends, work together to keep New York safe from Evil.


Episode one

THE BASH SISTERS AND THE EVIL—posted through RPs, GBs, and NML

"Damsel I am so bored! We have gone a whole week without killing anyone!" Patch whined as usual.

"Patch look! A damsel in distress!" Damsel yelled trying to get her cape over her head. "HELP!!!"

"Goodness Damsel. You do this _every_ day!" Patch said helping her sis get the cape straight.

beep beep 'Attention Bash sisters..pick up the phone'

"Ahhhh it's Portman!!!!!" Patch screamed racing for the phone.

"NOOOO! You got it last time!" Damsel yelled shoving Patch and answering the phone.

"Portman...oh nevermind it is that other one." Damsel said handing the phone to Patch in disgust.

"Patch we have a situation here..birds have taken over NY. Their head quarters seem to be..SHOPRITE and your friend..um what's her name..Spam..the other white meat..she is in there!!!" Fulton reported.

"AHHHHHHH!! LIZZI MARIE!!!!" Patch screamed

"Um that was my ear." Fulton said.

"Let's go Damsel!" Patch yelled, not bothering to hang up the phone.

"Yes, up up up and away!" Damsel yelled jumping out the window.

"DAMSEL...WE CAN'T FLY!!!" Patch said racing to the window in time to watch Damsel bounce off a car and land in a trash heap.

"owwww!" Damsel muttered. "i'm okay..let's go!"

**Meanwhile in Shoprite!**

_Note: Spot in these fics is none other than July._

"Hello Nerd!" an evil slimy voice whispered from behind.

"JONATHAN!!" Spot screamed before the birds surrounded here. "oh I do hope the Bash sisters will save me!"

"Bash sisters..ahaha I laugh in the face of danger… I look at porn… I mean i..i...DANG that Kelli Marie and her stupid dog too!" Evil yelled sicing his birds on Liz.

'Never fear The Bash Sisters are here!" Patch and Damsel yelled.

"The bash sisters!" Liz said just like Mush.

"EVIL, DROP MY LIZZI!" Patch ordered.

"GET HER BOYS!" Evil yelled at his birds.

"Noooooooo not the birds..they hate me!" Patch cried.

"Never fear, Patch dear!" Damsel said revealing her secret weapon. She reached behind her back and pulled out a bag of birdseed. "Big Bird let me have this when we explained to him how to get to Sesame Street." she added tossing the bag out the window.

The birds flew out the window happily crunching on the seed.

"NOOOOOO!" Evil screamed, "come back!"

"Now I've got you!" Patch said pulling out her DP jellybeans and her NKOTB posters. "LOOK! See JOEY..isn't he adorable?" Patch said throwing the beans at him.

"NOT THE NEW KIDS!!" Jonathan yelled running, but Liz tripped him and Damsel tied him up.

Patch popped in her old New Kids tape and began to do the New Kid dance, forcing him to watch.

'oh oh ohohhhhh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh THE RIGHT STUFF!' 'HANGING TOUGH!' 'She's my Popsicle!'

"Our work here is down, let's go!" Damsel said.

The three left the shoprite building leaving Evil behind to suffer through hours of NKOTB videos and even worse an added bonus POKEY SINGING!!(hehe)

"WAIT!! PATCH HELP!! The doors have me!" Spot screamed.

THE END!!!

Episode Two

We enter the scene at the Bash Cave. Cone and Spot sit on the floor cutting pics of Aaron and Gabe out of a magazine (woot go TigerBeat and Bop) while Patch attempts to teach Damsel how to put her cape on w/o ripping it or getting stuck.

"Look Damsel, you go like this and then pull." Patch said demonstrating.

"Like this!" Damsel said pulling the cape on over her head, "HELP!! A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AGAIN!!"

"Stop Damsel nooo you'll rip it!" Patch said sighing "try again."

Just then the phone rang.

"PORTMAN!!!" all the girls cried.

"I'll get it!" Damsel yelled taking off for the phone ripping the cape off her head.

"NOOO I will!" Patch said jumping her from behind.

While the girls wrestled, Coneflower calmly walked to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello, this is Portman, is this the bash sisters?" Portman asked.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cone began to scream going into hysterics. She began to giggle, then continued to repeat "it's him...him" over and over.

"Give me that!" Spot said ripping the phone out of her hand.

She talked to Portman while Patch and Damsel continued to wrestle and Cone sat on the floor rocking back and forth mumbling mush...mush...

"Damsel! Patch! Stop! You are needed. Evil has broke out. He has been dumped and now he wants the world to pay. He's got Pokey and EYC!!!" Spot said after ending her conversation and pulling the two girls apart.

"EYC!!!!" Patch screamed.

"POKEY!" Damsel screamed.

"EYC!!!!" Patch said again.

"EYC!!!!!" She repeated.

"We must save them!" Damsel said running towards the window.

"NOOO Damsel..remember we can't fly!" Patch screamed.

"Then why wear capes?" Damsel asked.

Patch froze."I…I…I don't know." she said looking very confused.

"Nevermind that!" Spot said pushing them out the door, "EYC and Pokey remember? I'll take care of Cone." She added.

Coneflower suddenly jumped forward. "A pair of new shoes with matching laces" She yelled dancing around the room.

"I've got some sedatives in the back room..leftover from when Amber met Trey." Patch added as she left.

(meanwhile in the Evilcave)

"Pokey dear come here. Look what I have captured for you..EYC." Evil said laughing hysterically. He pulled back a curtain to reveal three guys, one with out a shirt. "Don't I look good?" he asked the others, who just rolled their eyes. "This is only a dream.," the cute blonde added.

"What? It's Patch that likes EYC..not me you twit!" Pokey said putting on her witch's hat.

"Oh well in that case I will have to kill them." Evil said smiling at Pokey. Dang she looked good in black.

(In LA)

"So, um Patch where do we go from here?" Damsel asked, before taking a bite of her hamburger.

"I don't know but I have a sudden urge to sing the Cheeseburger song!" Patch added.

"The Bash Sisters! I don't believe it!" a woman called from behind.

"Who are you?" Patch asked suspiciously, turning around.

"I am an old friend and I have come here to help." the lady replied polishing her pink pumps.

The lady with the pink shoes looked up and smiled. "You can trust me!" she said.

"Hold on..we need a conference!" Damsel said pulling her cape around her head and motioning for Patch to do the same.

"I think we can trust her. I mean she is wearing Pink!" Damsel whispered, after Patch joined her under her cape.

"I don't know..JM always said Pink was from the devil!" Patch whispered back.

"But the Pink Ladies could be trusted!" Damsel insisted.

"Fine! But I don't trust her!" Patch said pulling back the cape and glaring at the pink lady.

Damsel tried to get her cape back down once again getting it stuck. "A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!!" she yelled.

"Good lord!" Patch muttered helping Damsel out.

"Alright Pink lady how can you help us." Damsel asked.

"I know how to get to the Evil Cave. Follow me!" she instructed taking off one of her pink heels and tossing it at a car, flattening a tire. "I hate that guy!" she added.

(back in the cave)

"Let's not kill them yet." Pokey said stirring her magic stew.

"Why not?" Evil whined, "Pokey I have been dumped either I kill someone or kiss you...both are tempting." he added smiling at her.

Pokey giggled and threw her jet-black hair over her shoulder.

"Yes, and that wart on your nose..it does stuff to me baby." Evil added taking off his wizard hat and sampling her stew.

"Oh Evil..I love it when you talk dirty!" Pokey said slapping his fingers away.

"Spank me baby!" Evil yelled taking Pokey into his arms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Patch screamed as they jumped through the cave wall. "OH POKEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"It's not what it looks like!" Pokey said quickly knocking Evil off her.

"Whatever!" Damsel said, "Evil didn't capture you..you've been working for him all this time!"

"What? I can't believe this!" Patch said totally in shock that her best friend would do this.

Evil took that opportunity to call his birds, which grabbed Patch and threw her in the same cage with EYC. (oh horror LOL)

"LEAVE HER BE!!!" Damsel yelled in her best southern accent. "Help me!" She said turning to the Pink Lady.

"Never" the lady said laughing. She pealed off her mask to reveal none other than COPPER!!!

"Copper??" Patch asked, looking away from Trey for one moment.

"That's right Patchey poo...I needed to get rid of you so I could get to Trey/Blink. He has mauled me one to many times in RPs and now he is gonna pay!!!" Copper yelled ripping off her clothes to reveal a "Keep Me Pure" super hero get-up.

"NOOO!" Damsel yelled, "NO ONE TOUCHES OUR TREY!!!" she said.

"But Damsel you are never with Blink are you? Patch always has him and she fights you every step of the way for him. You are just in her shadow. (not that it is that big) Don't follow leader all your life. Join me!" Copper yelled.

"WAIT!! You can't kill EYC! I wanted too!" Evil whined.

"Well you can kill the other two..I get Trey." Copper said smiling.

"Noooo!" Patch screamed throwing her body on Blink/Trey. (hehe) " YOU have to get through me first!"

"I'll help you Copper." Damsel said struggling to take off her Bash Sis Cape.

"Damsel...nooo..why?" Patch asked.

"Patch..You are so, so, so I don't know..but I want Blink and you always have him." Damsel said through the cape stuck on her head.

"But Damsel if you join Copper you'll kill Blink and NO ONE will get him." Patch stated the obvious.

"Well true...but with you I never DO get him so maybe it is for the best." Damsel added.

"WHAT??" Patch screamed.

"WHAT??" Trey echoed, "Well if I am going to die..." he said as he grabbed Patch and began to kiss her.

"NOOO YOU will NOT MAUL Her too!!" Copper yelled. "CHARGE!!!" Copper ran towards the cage high heel in hand.

"COPPER NOOOOOOO!" Patch yelled (after the kiss LOL). She jumped in front of Trey.

"Copper this is Trey not Blink!"

"What? Noo? They look the same!" Copper said pulling on her hair.

"Kill him anyway!" Evil said inching towards Pokey. Pokey smiled up at him but stopped short at Damsels' cry of disgust.

"Look Copper if you kill Trey you have to kill me!" Patch said praying that Copper wouldn't.

"I..I don't want to kill you..but...he MAULED ME!!!" Copper said throwing her shoe.

Patch caught it just in time, for it was aimed at his head. Evil gave up on Pokey and went after Damsel.

"You forced me to listen to NKOTB and gave my birds the runs!!" he yelled grabbing a hold of her.

Damsel did a quick flip and knocked Evil onto the ground. "The runs??" She asked as she tied his feet and hands together.

"The blasted bird seed!" he yelled.

"Noooo! My poor baby!" Pokey said running to Evil.

"Pokey I liked you and I don't want to have to hurt you but you leave me no choice." Damsel said. She did a few flips and landed behind Pokey.

"Here comes the tickle bug!!" she yelled attacking Pokey.

"noooo giggle I gaspcan't giggle breathe hehe" Pokey laughed. "Please stop!!"

Damsel tied Pokey up.

"You look good bound in rope." the ever lustful Evil said to Pokey.

"Shut-up!" Damsel said kicking him.

Meanwhile Copper did her best to open the cage.

"Let me at him!!" she yelled.

"Copper..come on! You don't want to do this!" Patch said.

"No, you don't!" Trey agreed hiding fearfully behind Patch.

"Look, Copper..you can rub my chest if you let us go!" Dave said ripping off his shirt.

Damon rolled his eyes and fliped his awesome dreadlocks.

"I am coming to help Copper!" Damsel yelled from behind.

"Damsel!" Patch screamed not believing this was happening.

Damsel and Copper worked together and bust the cage open.

"Let me at him!" Copper yelled racing towards Trey. "This is for Virgin wanna be's everywhere!!"

Patch jumped in front of Trey as did Dave and Damon.

"shoot!" Copper muttered, stopping.

"So what's the plan, Damsel?" She asked.

"Kill them!" Damsel said evilly laughing.

"What!!!???" Copper asked, "Kill Patch..but I like her..it's that evil Blink."

"This isn't Blink, Copper and please don't kill me!" Patch added quickly.

Damsel picked up Copper's heel and ran towards Patch. "Blink is mine!!" she yelled. That was when it dawned on Patch. This could not be her Damsel. She grabbed the imposter by the hair and threw her up against the cage she died instantly and then disappeared.

"Oy Vey, Patch you just killed Damsel." Copper said falling to her knees. "I kinda liked her."

"That wasn't Damsel, that was one of Evil's pons!" Patch said, "Here comes our Damsel!" she added pointing to a window.

"dum dum dum!!" Damsel yelled jumping into the air.

"WE CAN"T FLY!!!" Patch yelled just as Damsel hit the ground.

"ouch!" Damsel mumbled from the ground.

"Copper listen this is Trey...not Blink!" Patch tried again.

"Are you sure?" Copper asked, putting down her other pink heel.

"Yes!" Patch, Dave, Damon, and Trey yelled.

"Oh alright. Hey wait where is Evil and Pokey?" She yelled pointing at the empty place they once were.

"Crap!" Patch said.

"Don't worry!" Damsel yelled, "I landed on them!"

So the girls sat down to listen to EYC and Evil and Pokey were forced to watch Newsies over and over.

"WAIT!!" Patch screamed. She ran and got Amber and Jewels. "Let's do it!" she yelled to her fellow bon bon sisters and they danced the night away.

THE END

Episode Three

"Goodnight Damsel." Patch said crawling into her bed.

"Sweet dreams, Patch." Damsel replied turning out the light.

All of a sudden they heard a huge crash. Damsel flipped on the light.

"What on earth?" Patch asked as the room began to spin. Little dancing men floated around her.

"PATCH?? Can you see me?" Damsel yelled.

"Yes." Patch replied, "I'm standing right next to you."

"I CAN'T SEE YOU!!!!" Damsel screamed.

"Open your eyes!" Patch said turning Damsel around.

"Oh..there you are...did you get your hair cut?" she asked.

"Yes actually, I was going for the Mandy Moore look but then I realized I didn't like her so I..

"OH BEQUITE!" Pokey yelled from the midst.

"Excuse me!" Patch replied.

"Let me guess..you are working for Evil..again and you have captured us?" Damsel said yawning.

"Yes! And here is my secret weapon!" She motioned to the little men.

Patch suddenly realized they all were wearing cowboy hats. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Anything but this!" Patch screamed as the men began to sing COUNTRY!!!

"Oh this is evil, Pokey. You know Patch is allergic to Country music it makes her freak out and go insane and strange stuff..look at her!" she said pointing to Patch who had her leg over her head and kept mumbling "Don't tell my fart..my stinky icky fart I just don't think it'll understand..."

Pokey laughed evily. "That'll show you. Don't mess with my adorable Johnny-poo!"

"Well I have a secret weapon too!" Damsel replied. She began to sing every rock song she knew, but Patch sat there rocking back and forth.

"Repeat after me Patch : BORN TO BE WIIIIILLLLLLLDDDDD!" Damsel sang "Born to be COUNTRY!" Patch replied in that annoying country twang.

"There is no hope for you Patch." Damsel said sadly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Patch screamed waking up.

"What? What? Is someone in danger?" Damsel asked reaching for her cape and getting it stuck.

"no. no. everything is fine. I just had a nightmare. Everyone is safe." Patch replied.

"Speak for yourself..I am stuck in this dang cape!" Damsel said pulling on it.

THE END!!!!!!!

Episode Four

The Return of The Evil

The Evil Cave

"Lalalalalalaaaaaa! I hate the Bash Sisters..dodododooooodeeeyyyyyy!" Evil sang in the shower.

"EVIL! JON BOY! Hold it down!" Pokey called from the living room, "I'm trying to watch the Adam's Family."

"HUH?" Evil yelled sticking his head out the door.

"I'M WATCHING THE ADAM'S FAMILY AND...What?" pokey said staring at the screen.

"We interrupt this program to bring you an update. There seems to be a new evil that has entered the fair streets of NY. A terror unknown to mankind. We ask that everyone remain in their homes and lock their doors. This is worse than Evil and still no sign of the Bash sisters! Now back to the show. WAIT...this just in, the evil goes by the name of Shasta McNasty and OMG! It's worse than we thought there are two...the other one is called Mighty Lunatic??'"

"What?" evil asked running down the hall in only a towel. "Lunatic is out..and Shasta McNasty..she was a no talent loser in Evil Elementary School."

"Well apparently she grew up and she is taking over your job." Pokey said smiling at Evil in a towel.

"What do I do?" he asked.

The Bash Sister's home

"What do I do?" spot asked, laughing. She tried to move her right foot to the red circle but Cone's leg was in the way and Amber's butt was in her face.

"Left Red!" Patch yelled again.

"I can't make it!!" Spot said before falling.

"I WON!!!!!!!!" Amber screamed jumping up and down.

"Heya Patch, hand me a Sprite." Copper said from her seat on the floor. Damsel and her were deep into a game of Candyland.

"A SPRITE??????" Patch and Spot yelled at the same time.

"Um yes?" Copper asked confused at their shocked faces.

"I'll get it!" Cone said handing Copper a Sprite out of the fridge.

"That was in my fridge?" Patch asked.

"Let's watch Newsies!!!" Damsel suggested, before Spot and Patch could give there "Joys of Dr Pepper" speech.

"YAY!!!" all the girls cried.

Damsel turned on the tv. "What?" she asked. All the girls looked at the screen. The streets of NY city were not echoing with the voices of newsies..it was echoing with screams of terror as citizens ran for their lives. In the corner the Bash Sis sign was flashing (it was a huge newsie hat).

"OMG!!! What is this? What do we do?" Copper asked.

"Well this is a job for the Bash Sisters!!" Damsel said ripping off her shirt to reveal her costume.

"Let's do it!"Patch said doing the same.

"And we're off!!" Damsel yelled as Patch and her ran out the door.

"5...4...3...2.." Spot said looking at her watch.

The door slammed back open. "Um what do we do? Where do we go?" Patch asked.

"Well darling..we should do some research!" Amber said going to the computer.

"This is a new evil we are dealing with." Cone said as her and Amber went to work.

"Aha..I have found it!" Cone said excitedly.

"The evil..who is it?" Damsel asked.

"Noo! I found the number to the pizza place..this could take all night. We need nourishment." she replied.

_back to the evil cave_

"What do I do?" evil asked again.

"Well dear..we have to find out what these two are up to and then join them!" Pokey said putting her arm around him.

"WHAT? Join them? Never!" Evil said.

"That is the only way to destroy the Bash Sisters!" she replied.

"Ohhhh, well in that case..." he said giving her a big wet one!

"EUREKA I HAVE FOUND IT!!!" Amber screamed.

Spot and Patch were in the middle of a DP burping contest, Copper and Damsel were meditating in front of pics of Trey and David, and Cone sat balancing a pencil on her nose when Amber made her announcement.

"YOU'VE FOUND WHAT?" Spot asked.burp "What'd ya find?" Patch echoed.

"Well the evil out there is called Shasta McNasty and her side kick is Mighty Lunatic and..

"We heard that on the news, Amber" Damsel interrupted.

"i know that suck retard.I'm getting there.Now as I was saying..ShastaMcNasty helped the loony escape and now they are on a rampage..and we have to find them and destroy them before Evil gets to them." Amber replied.

"Um I don't think that will be a problem." Cone piped up.

"Why?" Patch asked.

"Cuz..they are here!" She replied as the door swung open.

"Quick put on our capes!" Damsel yelled pulling hers on and over her head.

"Damsel you did it!" Copper yelled.

"Praise the lord!" Cone said jumping up and down.

"um Damsel..that's great, but it's ON BACKWARDS!!" patch said helping her fix it.

"um hello you two..the bad guys are here!" Mighty Lunatic said twirling.

"Oh yeah! Let's rumble!" patch screamed.

"not so fast!" Shasta McNasty said making herself heavy and sitting onPatch.

"me bones! I'm cracking! Save me!" patch screamed.

"we'll save you!" Amber, Spot, and Cone cried.

"NOT SO FAST!" Evil crackled from the corner. He ordered his birds to capture them and throw them in a cage.

"Muahahahahaha" He laughed.

"muhahahahaha" Pokey, McNasty, and Lunatic echoed.

"What do we do?" Copper asked Damsel.

"Um I have a suggestion" Patch yelled from under McNasty, "I Have a BUTT on me! you could get her off!!!"

"OH I've got it!!" Damsel said running from the room.

"Oh leave me to fend for myself!" Copper said, she turned into the Pink Lady and hurled her shoe at Mighty Lunatic hitting her in the head knocking her out cold.

"I've got it!!" Damsel said running in with a cardboard cut out of Jack. (what? You don't have cardboard cut outs of all the newsies?????) She began to flirt with him.

"noooooo! He's my JACK!!!!" McNasty said jumping off of Patch and running towards Damsel. Patch took out her laser which surprisingly wasn't crushed and zapped Shasta McNasty!

Mighty Lunatic woke up and went after Copper. Evil took a hold of Damsel.

"What do I do now?" Patch asked.

"I want you not your friends..I'll let them go for you Patch!" Evil said laughing as Pokey massaged his back.

"Don't do it, Patch!" Amber yelled from the cage.

"Do it Patch!" Spot yelled, "Um I mean..don't!'

"NEVER FEAR SHASTA um IS HERE!" Super Shasta yelled as she crashed through the door, "I'll save them all!"

"Yippy! I hate birds!" Patch said relieved.

"Patch...have you been tutoring Jack again?" Shasta said pointing to the cardboard cut out.

"Nooo for pete's sake save them!" Patch said.

"fine..but If I find out he's been here.." Super Shasta said vaporizing. She began to pluck Evil's birds.

"MY BIRDS!!!" he screamed dropping Damsel. Damsel quickly kicked him and tied him up. Meanwhile Mighty Lunatic flew to K-Mart with Copper under her arm.

Super Shasta released their friends and Patch threw McNasty in the cage.

"Now let's go save Copper!" Damsel yelled.

"Well someone has to watch the prisoners!" Cone said.

"we can do that!" Spot and Amber yelled grabbing their newsie props. "We'll act out Newsies!"

"Noooooooooooooooooo!" the bad guys yelled. Pokey smiled a little so maybe there was hope yet!

"So, where do we go now?" Shasta asked.

"k-Mart..that's where all Looneys live!" Patch said.

"oh!" damsel replied as they ran to Kmart.

"SAVE ME!!!!" Copper yelled as Mighty Lunatic made her listen to her impression of a toilet flushing for the 20th time.

"MIGHTY LUNATIC LEAVE HER ALONE!" Patch yelled.

"Noooo, I am BATMAN!!" Lunatic yelled dancing around the toy section.

"This will be harder than I thought!" Shasta replied.

"i have an idea, dudes!" Patch said, "Here everyone put on my extra costumes..I saw it on Three Amigos! We'll make her think she has gone insane..which she has and we'll trap her that way!"

So the 4 ran all over Kmart freaking poor Luna out and finally capturing her.

"We BEAT 'EM!!" Cone yelled.

"yay! Let's go home!" Damsel said.

"wait..I need to buy this book for Pokey..13 week program on how not to love EVIL! We'll save her yet!" Patch said paying for the book.

THE END!!


End file.
